A Blog about The World FUCKING Champion Philadelphia Phillies, from an obsessed fan's perspective.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Obligatory Steroid/A-Rod Post


So, A-Rod's name surfaced in a report by Sports Illustrated this weekend saying that he was one of 104 players who tested positive for steroids a few years ago. I have mixed feelings on the subject, and I'm not really sure where I stand.
Now, I don't mean that I have mixed feelings on steroids. I think that they, along with the cheaters who used them to gain an edge, have ruined the sport and royally fucked up it's history, record books, and the way the average American looks at the sport. I just have some mixed feelings on the whole A-Rod situation. I'm still trying to sort through them.
Now, for reasons I can't even comprehend, I almost feel sorry for Alex Rodriguez. I catch myself buying the shit he's spewing out of his mouth to Peter Gammons. I believed him back when he told Katie Couric he never took roids. I just find myself sort of understanding the reasons why he started to take them, if he indeed started taking them in 2001 after signing the contract with Texas. I mean, you just signed a 10 year, $250+ million deal, and you feel like you have to prove your worth to everyone out there who doubts you're worth that mega deal. That still doesn't make it right.
I'm pissed at Alex Rodriguez. He was the "savior of the sport." He was going to be the clean guy who takes the homerun record back from Balco Barry. He was the face of the game. Instead, he's the new face of the Steroid Era. With this coming out now, I find myself having serious doubts about anybody who played from the mid-late 90's through 2004 or so being clean. I mean, if the poster boy for playing the game the "right way" was playing it the "wrong way," then who is playing it the right way? Is anybody? We're never going to know. And maybe I don't want to know.
So, Mr. Rodriguez, it looks like we've got about the same chances of ever getting in to Cooperstown, without having to pay admission, of course.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Cubs, and My Hatred For Them




As much as I hate the New York Mets, one team comes close to them when it comes to my hatred for baseball teams. The Chicago fucking Cubs. God, I can't stand that fucking team. And it's not so much the actual team, either. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think they're extremely overrated and just get hyped up so much because everybody loves the Cubs.

Well, the main reason that I hate them is because of their fans. Their fans are ridiculously obnoxious, and keep in mind that I'm using the term "fan" very loosely. Everybody is a Cubs fan. It doesn't matter where you live, I guarantee you know a Cubs fan. Probably one who isn't even from Chicago, but rather is a Cubs "fan" because it's "cool." It's so trendy to be a Cubs fan now a days. It was "cool" back in the day, because they sucked so much and were dubbed "the lovable losers." Now, it's so much worse because they've won the division a few times. All of these "life-long Cubs fans" got so excited watching their team breeze through the regular season to an NL Central title, and then watched as their team got swept out of the playoffs again. It brought me great joy. Great joy.

It's horrible here in Indiana, without an MLB team. Everyone is a Cubs, Reds, Yankees, or Red Sox fan. The Reds fans, I have no problem with. My dad was a Reds fan growing up, and it was a great day when we got to meet Johnny Bench a few years ago. It's not "cool" to be a Reds fan. It's not trendy, so you know the ones around here are legit, for the most part. The Cubs, Yankees, and BoSox "fans" are the ones who piss me off. The ones who wear their team's gear and claim to be a fan, but couldn't name 5 players on the team, the ones who couldn't tell Alfonso Soriano from Alfonso Ribeiro. Fuck them.
The Cubs fans who are actually from the North side of Chicago, I can understand. Don't get me wrong, I still hate them, but they can suck my dick as well. They're so obnoxious, with their shitty ass Old Style beer they insist on drinking. With their obsession with Harry Caray. With their holier-than-thou attitude when it comes to their piece of shit stadium, Wrigley Field.

I was actually in Chicago for New Years and made a trip up to take a gander at Wrigley Field after the Red Wings/Blackhawks Winter Classic game. That stadium is smack dab right in the middle of the gayest neighborhood in the Midwest, literally (not that there's anything wrong with that...) I mean, seriously. The whole Cubs/Cubs fan thing all made a little more sense to me after seeing that.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Is the Super Bowl over yet???

I'm so tired of the Super Bowl already. Don't get me wrong, I love me some football. However, I fucking hate the Steelers. Seriously, Ben Roethlisberger can suck on my left nut. Steelers fans are so fucking obnoxious. So, clearly I'm cheering for the Cardinals, even though that team/city/state does not deserve a championship. I'd love to see my guy Edgerrin James get a ring before he hangs it up. Kurt Warner annoys me. But Larry Fitzgerald is beast, obviously. I'm torn between rooting for the Cardinals to win, and rooting for both teams to lose. I'll just be glad when all this is over so we can get on to baseball season. I mean, sure, the NBA season is in full swing, but frankly who really even watches the NBA any more? Not me. I go to Pacers games occasionally, but only when I get free courtside seats just so I can get ridiculously drunk and heckle the opposing players. I nearly made Zack Randolph cry when the Clippers were in town a while back. It was the tits. Then there's the NHL. I like hockey, but I can only catch like one or two games a week because it's rarely on TV and I can't even pronounce most of the players names.

Oh, but it's so glorious. Pitchers and catchers report in, like, two weeks! Like OMG rite?!?!? Seriously, though, I'm stoked. It won't be long until I am cursing the fact that Chan Ho Park is our 5th starter, Happ is in the 'pen, and Carassco is back in the minors. Hopefully, it doesn't play out like that. We'll see. I've been going over the schedule, trying to figure out when I can make it to Cincinnati, St. Louis, Chicago, Atlanta, and Philly for road trips this year. I've been going over my bank statements wondering how in the hell I'm going to pay for it. I've considered selling myself on the corner. Maybe taking a short stint as a male stripper. I even looked in to becoming a "fluffer" in the porn biz (look it up.) Yeah, I love baseball that much, and I'll be damned if the only way I'm going to see Phils baseball is when the Iron Pigs come to town to play the Indy Indians, because frankly, you can only get so excited about cheering on TJ Bohn while pounding $8 beers and hitting on high school chicks.

So, if anyone has any bright, or not so bright, ideas for ways I can make some dough to finance my Phils road trips 09 this year, get at me. I've got a few months to figure this thing out. And I've looked in to selling body parts already. Do you know what I can get in the Phillipines for a kidney? It's unreal!